Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything, and everybody believed in you.

Lately, I've come to the realization that just because you mess up, doesn't mean you're a fuck up. People do stupid things everyday, but it doesn't stop them from doing stupid things in the future. I always hear, "Learn from your mistakes.." when in reality, you don't learn from your mistakes because your mistakes resulted at one point from something you wanted. Things you want don't just go away just because you mess up. A lot of the time, messing something up, makes you want to try it again to get it perfect...even though it might not ever be. Once you do something, you can't take it back, so there's no need to dwell on it. On a brighter note, I'm leaving for France in about three days and I'm starting to freak out. I've already been there before, but that nervous/excited feeling never goes away! Being over across the ocean just gives me the high on life feeling, and I love that more than anything. I could say that I definitely need a break from society at this point. Lately, I've gotten the feeling that everything is so overwhelming and the only way I can control everything is getting that alone time everyday. I don't get how certain people always have to have the attention on them to make friends because if that were me, I'd probably hate life...honestly. Everyday, I set aside time for myself to let loose and just think about my daily ventures; because if I don't...I'd lose it. Today was a perfect example...right after work, I didn't go straight home, I just drove to a place I could be forever and just hung out there until I figured out things. I'm not some depressed little ef, that's just what I do...OH and of course running is another great way to think about everything and just get rid of any stress or pain I have. That's why I don't express my feelings a lot of the time, because I've got another way of ridding myself of stress. I hope I'm not just blabbing on, I just like to explain myself and how I think. Anyways, ever since January 30th, one of my best friends has been gone because she's training for the air force. I'm so proud of her and I know that she's doing great and that she's having an amazing time. I miss being able to just call her whenever I want or randomly stopping by just to talk...it's not that easy at all anymore. As I get older, I have learned that I have less people to talk to because I have a hard time trusting anyone. I have probably a handful of people that I know I can trust and they're the only ones that I go to for advice or anything....It's hard to just trust anyone, seeing as though people will do anything they can to become "popular" which I think is a bunch of bullshit. Being "popular" is another way of saying that you have nothing else better to do with your life than sit around making fun of other people to make others laugh or be friends with you. It's also being a two-faced asshole who sits around and listens to you but then turns right around and announces your secrets to the world. Well, I feel as if I've talked long enough and will definitely start blogging more because it's an awesome way to express how I feel about myself and the world. Au revoir:)  

The First One...

I've never actually had a blog or any type of website/diary that's let me express my mind. Well, I can't really say I've never had a diary... I've tried to but I think I might have ADD most of the time so of course I forget about it. This post is going to be short and hopefully I don't forget to come back here! My posts will be more interesting, don't worry!! Thanks for reading it, and have a happy freaking new year. May all of your goals and thoughts about the year 2012 be happy and hopeful. :)